As promised photos related to 2 posts ago.
Our new state of residence
Our new house, which we absolutely love
The newest addition to our family, Remi.
Doing what he loves to do best, laying out in the sun in the driveway.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Our newest journey
I feel like life is a series of journeys. Sometimes multiple journeys at once. While my life is currently multiple journeys all happening at the same time, there is one that most of the time consumes my thoughts, is the reason for most of my stress, etc. This is my journey of infertility. I will warn that parts of my blog coming up some may find to be too much information, all I have to say is no one is making you read this. I do not plan to share every single little detail of my medical history, I will share the parts that have the most significant impact on this particular journey. Please if you have any questions, feel free to ask.
While we have multiple factors that we both contribute to this battle, our journey seems to focus around my infertility factors. Some struggles I have been facing are hypothyroidism and a new, but long overdue, diagnosis of polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). While we had stopped trying to prevent pregnancy before I first went to the doctor I knew we were on the road for trouble before even starting to try, so we ended up at the doctor fairly early compared to most couples. Generally in the medical community it is suggested it is suggested for couples to try for one year then seek help, however as we already knew that I neither ovulate nor generally have menstrual cycles on my own, we didn't have to wait the full year.
My first appointment was in November, mind you it was about a week after we got here, my general practitioner acknowledged that my thyroid issues, an autoimmune hypothyroid disorder I have, were present, she didn't seem to want to check my thyroid levels to make sure at least that part was on the right track. As far as not having periods and ovulating she decided to pass it onto OB/GYN, which turns out to be best. I had to wait about a little over a month to get into the OB/GYN office on post, the first appointment takes a while, an extensive history and lots of labs ordered for both me and Nathan. This first doctor at the OB/GYN office seemed to brush off the fact that I still was not having a period, I asked at this point if I could have PCOS. I have been asked several times in the past by several different doctors if I have PCOS and have even been told by a couple of doctors that I most likely have PCOS, yet no one has ever wanted to address the issue.We were told to call back in a week to make a follow-up appointment, when we called in a week we found out the doctor left the practice and that I would have to wait a month to get in with another doctor in the practice.
My next appointment was with my second doctor with the OB/GYN clinic, I really liked him, no bullshit and gives you a straight forward response to what he is thinking. He started out right away stating he didn't feel like he could help us much and that our real chance of conceiving would be by intrauterine insemination (IUI) and infertility drugs combined. This means that I would be on drugs for a few weeks leading up to ovulation and then at time of ovulation sperm would be placed at the top of uterus, up past the cervix. However, before he could give me the referral to see the reproductive endocrinologist, the one who would help us with IUI, I had to go through one more test, an HSG. An HSG, hysterosalpingogram, a test in which dye is shot through a catheter that is threaded through the cervix into the uterus and then continuous x-ray is done to see if the uterus and fallopian tubes are clear. I couldn't schedule mine for almost a month and half after this appoint, so mid-March time frame. Before having my HSG I did lots of research, I had seen 2 as a nurse, but still did research. From what I found is women who have not had children the test could be extremely painful, I have to agree thankfully it only lasted a few minutes. It felt like someone was powerwashing my uterus, however I got good news in the end, at least my uterus and fallopian tubes were open meaning I didn't need surgery. From this point I was finally sent to the reproductive endocrinologsit.
Finally about a month after my HSG I saw the reproductive endocrinologist, we had to travel to Columbia to see him, closest one to us and took a little over 2 hours to get up there. Right away he thought I might have PCOS and ordered some testing to confirm so. If I did have PCOS I would not be able to start treatments for a several weeks as I would be started on a med to help with the PCOS and he wanted me to be regulated on that before starting any further hormone treatments. It turns out I do indeed have PCOS and was started on the dreaded medication. I say dreaded because it has made me so sick, I started at a low dose and then had to up my dose every week until I was quadruple the starter dose. With each dose increase I would get sick all over again, only to kind of start feeling better about the time it was to increase again.
This is where I am going to end at this time, stabilizing on the dreaded medication. As I said in my last post I will keep this a few weeks behind go allow us and our families time to process any new news and everything that is going on. In the meantime I will post about other things going on in our lives and some things I have learned through this journey.
While we have multiple factors that we both contribute to this battle, our journey seems to focus around my infertility factors. Some struggles I have been facing are hypothyroidism and a new, but long overdue, diagnosis of polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). While we had stopped trying to prevent pregnancy before I first went to the doctor I knew we were on the road for trouble before even starting to try, so we ended up at the doctor fairly early compared to most couples. Generally in the medical community it is suggested it is suggested for couples to try for one year then seek help, however as we already knew that I neither ovulate nor generally have menstrual cycles on my own, we didn't have to wait the full year.
My first appointment was in November, mind you it was about a week after we got here, my general practitioner acknowledged that my thyroid issues, an autoimmune hypothyroid disorder I have, were present, she didn't seem to want to check my thyroid levels to make sure at least that part was on the right track. As far as not having periods and ovulating she decided to pass it onto OB/GYN, which turns out to be best. I had to wait about a little over a month to get into the OB/GYN office on post, the first appointment takes a while, an extensive history and lots of labs ordered for both me and Nathan. This first doctor at the OB/GYN office seemed to brush off the fact that I still was not having a period, I asked at this point if I could have PCOS. I have been asked several times in the past by several different doctors if I have PCOS and have even been told by a couple of doctors that I most likely have PCOS, yet no one has ever wanted to address the issue.We were told to call back in a week to make a follow-up appointment, when we called in a week we found out the doctor left the practice and that I would have to wait a month to get in with another doctor in the practice.
My next appointment was with my second doctor with the OB/GYN clinic, I really liked him, no bullshit and gives you a straight forward response to what he is thinking. He started out right away stating he didn't feel like he could help us much and that our real chance of conceiving would be by intrauterine insemination (IUI) and infertility drugs combined. This means that I would be on drugs for a few weeks leading up to ovulation and then at time of ovulation sperm would be placed at the top of uterus, up past the cervix. However, before he could give me the referral to see the reproductive endocrinologist, the one who would help us with IUI, I had to go through one more test, an HSG. An HSG, hysterosalpingogram, a test in which dye is shot through a catheter that is threaded through the cervix into the uterus and then continuous x-ray is done to see if the uterus and fallopian tubes are clear. I couldn't schedule mine for almost a month and half after this appoint, so mid-March time frame. Before having my HSG I did lots of research, I had seen 2 as a nurse, but still did research. From what I found is women who have not had children the test could be extremely painful, I have to agree thankfully it only lasted a few minutes. It felt like someone was powerwashing my uterus, however I got good news in the end, at least my uterus and fallopian tubes were open meaning I didn't need surgery. From this point I was finally sent to the reproductive endocrinologsit.
Finally about a month after my HSG I saw the reproductive endocrinologist, we had to travel to Columbia to see him, closest one to us and took a little over 2 hours to get up there. Right away he thought I might have PCOS and ordered some testing to confirm so. If I did have PCOS I would not be able to start treatments for a several weeks as I would be started on a med to help with the PCOS and he wanted me to be regulated on that before starting any further hormone treatments. It turns out I do indeed have PCOS and was started on the dreaded medication. I say dreaded because it has made me so sick, I started at a low dose and then had to up my dose every week until I was quadruple the starter dose. With each dose increase I would get sick all over again, only to kind of start feeling better about the time it was to increase again.
This is where I am going to end at this time, stabilizing on the dreaded medication. As I said in my last post I will keep this a few weeks behind go allow us and our families time to process any new news and everything that is going on. In the meantime I will post about other things going on in our lives and some things I have learned through this journey.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Starting back up
I know that it has been a good year since my last blog post, sorry, life got away from me. Nathan returned, we spent precious time together, we moved across the world, finally had our wedding after 2.5 years of marriage, bought our first house, and have settled into our life in Missouri.
I will be honest I have thought about never writing another blog post again. Then other times I have so wanted to hop on and write a post, not necessarily that I am hoping that someone is still reading my blog, but more so to just let my words and emotions out.
For this post I thought I would update you on our lives in Missouri and give you an idea of what I plan to blog about, you can decide from there if you ever want to read my blog again or not.
When we arrived in Missouri we were fortunate to find our house right away, it is the perfect house for us, we love it. We adopted a new dog, Remi. Depending on who you talk to depends on what breed he might be, my personal opinion is he is a redtick coonhound mix of some sorts. Either way he is a perfect dog for living out in the country, lays out in the sun all day, doesn't do a whole lot but protect our property, and he gets along with our other dog, Ellie, perfectly. Having trouble uploading a picture of him right now, but will soon.
I had applied for several jobs as we were moving, hoping to be able to work again right away after we found a place. I had several interviews my first week here, and had offers from all of my interviews, which came the hard part which job to take. I ended up taking the job that I thought I would be happiest at and was supposed to have a schedule that would allow me to be part of on-post activities such as FRG and spouse's club luncheons. Sadly, haven't been able to do as much as I would like with the FRG, but somehow I am the new FRG leader! Also, I haven't been able to make it to a spouse's club luncheon since I started this job. I think a big factor in my unhappiness with it and not being able to do what I want is all of the mandated overtime. It started as soon as I got off of orientation, December-ish, and was supposed to only last about 6 weeks. Well, we just got our email saying the mandated overtime will continue through the summer and there is no perceivable end in sight.
Do you ever want something but know that chances are you will never have it so you then try to trick yourself and try to deny ever wanting it? This is how I was with kids, I have wanted them, but knew due to my medical history that my chances weren't great so for awhile when people asked me about them I said I never wanted them. I didn't want to face the pain or the reality of explaining how I wanted them but probably can't have them, or have them very easily. When we settled into Missouri we started the long road of infertility testing and treatment.
My plan for my blog is to share our experiences of living in Missouri, trying to make the most of what seems like little around us. Spending time with family and friends. Sharing our story of infertility and our journey to, hopefully, a baby. When sharing our infertility journey my plan is to keep the blog as to what is happening a couple of weeks behind, that way as we find out something or something happens Nathan and I have time to process everything, update our families and then will share what is going on. This may seem like such a private thing, but 1 in 10 couples struggle with infertility. It is something that is very hard to deal with sometimes and there is really no reason to feel alone in your battle against it.
I will be honest I have thought about never writing another blog post again. Then other times I have so wanted to hop on and write a post, not necessarily that I am hoping that someone is still reading my blog, but more so to just let my words and emotions out.
For this post I thought I would update you on our lives in Missouri and give you an idea of what I plan to blog about, you can decide from there if you ever want to read my blog again or not.
When we arrived in Missouri we were fortunate to find our house right away, it is the perfect house for us, we love it. We adopted a new dog, Remi. Depending on who you talk to depends on what breed he might be, my personal opinion is he is a redtick coonhound mix of some sorts. Either way he is a perfect dog for living out in the country, lays out in the sun all day, doesn't do a whole lot but protect our property, and he gets along with our other dog, Ellie, perfectly. Having trouble uploading a picture of him right now, but will soon.
I had applied for several jobs as we were moving, hoping to be able to work again right away after we found a place. I had several interviews my first week here, and had offers from all of my interviews, which came the hard part which job to take. I ended up taking the job that I thought I would be happiest at and was supposed to have a schedule that would allow me to be part of on-post activities such as FRG and spouse's club luncheons. Sadly, haven't been able to do as much as I would like with the FRG, but somehow I am the new FRG leader! Also, I haven't been able to make it to a spouse's club luncheon since I started this job. I think a big factor in my unhappiness with it and not being able to do what I want is all of the mandated overtime. It started as soon as I got off of orientation, December-ish, and was supposed to only last about 6 weeks. Well, we just got our email saying the mandated overtime will continue through the summer and there is no perceivable end in sight.
Do you ever want something but know that chances are you will never have it so you then try to trick yourself and try to deny ever wanting it? This is how I was with kids, I have wanted them, but knew due to my medical history that my chances weren't great so for awhile when people asked me about them I said I never wanted them. I didn't want to face the pain or the reality of explaining how I wanted them but probably can't have them, or have them very easily. When we settled into Missouri we started the long road of infertility testing and treatment.
My plan for my blog is to share our experiences of living in Missouri, trying to make the most of what seems like little around us. Spending time with family and friends. Sharing our story of infertility and our journey to, hopefully, a baby. When sharing our infertility journey my plan is to keep the blog as to what is happening a couple of weeks behind, that way as we find out something or something happens Nathan and I have time to process everything, update our families and then will share what is going on. This may seem like such a private thing, but 1 in 10 couples struggle with infertility. It is something that is very hard to deal with sometimes and there is really no reason to feel alone in your battle against it.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Sun salutations
Something that I wanted to post as my facebook status tonight was the hilarity of listening to Nathan doing yoga with me tonight. Granted I was not perfect, its been awhile since I did some yoga, it was hilarious to listen to Nathan as he was moving between the different poses. I decided not to post this as my facebook status as I have heard nothing but crap from some people since Nathan came back about how their husbands are not back. Today I said one thing about Nathan and I was told that I was rubbing it in her face that Nathan was home. FYI I wasn't even talking to the person, I was talking to someone next to her. And again as I said the other day Nathan has been gone a lot longer, and her husband is coming back this next week. So, my rant today is allow others to not feel guilty about their husbands being home, don't make them feel bad and let them bathe in the excitement of being reunited. So I did not make this my status as I was afraid that again I would end up feeling like shit when I should be happy.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Respect at ceremonies...
So my target of this post is homecoming ceremonies and the respect that should be presented at them. But really it comes down to respect at any ceremony. So here is my rant:
1. If you don't get there early to get a good seat don't expect others to move around so you can have the seat that you so desperately want. We all want that seat, which is why we showed up early and reserved the seat. Also, don't try to move my stuff so that you can take my seat. NOT COOL. I will call you out on it, and you will be the one looking like a fool.
On the same note, I arrived early to have a front seat. That does not mean that if you show up late that you can come stand in front of me. Go stand with everyone else that was late.
2. When the speaker is talking don't start yelling for your loved one so that they can find you in the stands. We all want to find our loved ones, but please show respect for those who are trying to listen to the speaker. Plus its just flat out rude and disrespectful to interrupt the speaker like that.
3. While I know that there is no dress code for a homecoming ceremony please dress respectfully. Jeans and a t-shirt are not respectful. Jeans and a nice shirt are fine. Dresses don't need to be ball gowns, but also don't pull out the slutty, tramp dresses. We all know that you can't wait to get home, but you don't have to show everyone every little inch of your body. These guys have been gone a long time, protecting your freedom and working hard to provide a better life for you; please show them the respect that they deserve.
4. We all have signs that we want to hold up to show our loved one. Please keep it to a practical size, if multiple members of your family are holding it, fine. But if you are trying to stretch it out in front of a bunch of people so it blocks other families, again not cool.
5. I brought balloons as well, but I tried to keep my balloons under control; I held them out of people's faces, out of pictures, and it was only 2, not a giant bouquet that I would expect at a county fair that is more of a distraction than a festive marker for this joyous occasion.
6. How my loved one and I choose to celebrate the homecoming is our decision. Just because you do not agree you do not need to make me feel like shit because of it. Keep your opinion to yourself!
7. We have all had to wait a long time for our loved ones to come home. I understand that not everyone is home yet, and I am sorry. I too have had to waited through watching other loved ones come back and not able to see my husband, I have felt the same jealousy. You do not need to make me feel like shit because your loved one is not home yet. Oh and FYI for those of you who did make me feel like shit for all but one of you my husband left way before yours. And for that one your husband left only the day before mine and yours will be home very, very soon, not that big of a difference. Get over yourselves, we are all in this together. It is not possible for them to all come in on the same day, so please let me celebrate my day without making me feel guilty.
While this has been a negative post, please don't get me wrong. I am overjoyed that my husband is home and would not have missed the welcome home ceremony for anything in the world. I just needed to share my mind.
1. If you don't get there early to get a good seat don't expect others to move around so you can have the seat that you so desperately want. We all want that seat, which is why we showed up early and reserved the seat. Also, don't try to move my stuff so that you can take my seat. NOT COOL. I will call you out on it, and you will be the one looking like a fool.
On the same note, I arrived early to have a front seat. That does not mean that if you show up late that you can come stand in front of me. Go stand with everyone else that was late.
2. When the speaker is talking don't start yelling for your loved one so that they can find you in the stands. We all want to find our loved ones, but please show respect for those who are trying to listen to the speaker. Plus its just flat out rude and disrespectful to interrupt the speaker like that.
3. While I know that there is no dress code for a homecoming ceremony please dress respectfully. Jeans and a t-shirt are not respectful. Jeans and a nice shirt are fine. Dresses don't need to be ball gowns, but also don't pull out the slutty, tramp dresses. We all know that you can't wait to get home, but you don't have to show everyone every little inch of your body. These guys have been gone a long time, protecting your freedom and working hard to provide a better life for you; please show them the respect that they deserve.
4. We all have signs that we want to hold up to show our loved one. Please keep it to a practical size, if multiple members of your family are holding it, fine. But if you are trying to stretch it out in front of a bunch of people so it blocks other families, again not cool.
5. I brought balloons as well, but I tried to keep my balloons under control; I held them out of people's faces, out of pictures, and it was only 2, not a giant bouquet that I would expect at a county fair that is more of a distraction than a festive marker for this joyous occasion.
6. How my loved one and I choose to celebrate the homecoming is our decision. Just because you do not agree you do not need to make me feel like shit because of it. Keep your opinion to yourself!
7. We have all had to wait a long time for our loved ones to come home. I understand that not everyone is home yet, and I am sorry. I too have had to waited through watching other loved ones come back and not able to see my husband, I have felt the same jealousy. You do not need to make me feel like shit because your loved one is not home yet. Oh and FYI for those of you who did make me feel like shit for all but one of you my husband left way before yours. And for that one your husband left only the day before mine and yours will be home very, very soon, not that big of a difference. Get over yourselves, we are all in this together. It is not possible for them to all come in on the same day, so please let me celebrate my day without making me feel guilty.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Reintegration
As something I have discovered a word that military families come to cringe at just as much as the word deployment is reintegration. This is the period immediately after deployment that everyone involved has to learn how to act as a family unit again. Our reintegration period isn't even here and already I have mixed emotions about it. Don't get me wrong, I am very excited for Nathan to come back. What am I worried about you ask? Learning how to live together as a couple in which both of us have full-time jobs. Up until this point in our marriage we have been separated any time we have both had full-time jobs. When we were first married I was actually working 2 jobs, but Nathan was sent to Missouri a matter of a few days after we were married. Start our first separation while we both worked full-time. Come the end of Nathan's school in Missouri, I quit my jobs to follow him to Germany. I immediately started looking for work but didn't one until right after Nathan left for this deployment. So while I have been working at this job now for awhile this will be the first time that we live under the same roof and both work. Begin just one of my worries for when he comes back.
Hopefully Nathan will be here soon, and then we can begin this wild adventure called reintegration!
Hopefully Nathan will be here soon, and then we can begin this wild adventure called reintegration!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Where does time go?
WOW!!! Where the heck does time go? I kept thinking that it had only been about a month since my last post, until I signed in and saw that it has been about 2 months! My bad.
Can you believe that it has been almost a year since Nathan left? As I start prep my house for his homecoming I am reflecting on this past year. At times it seems like it has dragged on forever and at other times it has flown by. I didn't travel as much as I had originally planned this past year, but I did start my job and have been trying to save up all the leave time I can for when he comes home.
We will have more travel pics as soon as Nathan comes home, I promise. We already have a couple of exciting trips set up. I cannot wait!
Can you believe that it has been almost a year since Nathan left? As I start prep my house for his homecoming I am reflecting on this past year. At times it seems like it has dragged on forever and at other times it has flown by. I didn't travel as much as I had originally planned this past year, but I did start my job and have been trying to save up all the leave time I can for when he comes home.
We will have more travel pics as soon as Nathan comes home, I promise. We already have a couple of exciting trips set up. I cannot wait!
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