Sorry I do not have much too say that is exciting this week. I have been busy but no traveling. I have been faced with a number of dilemmas this week, I do not want my blog to become a place to write about my own self pity, but all this week I have been thinking and trying to deal everything. My first dilemma this week is in regard to one of my volunteer positions. I have decided since I do not have a job yet to fill my time with volunteering for the Girl Scouts and Red Cross and taking classes with ACS. I am leading two troops with the Girl Scouts, one for kindergartners and one for middle schoolers. My dilemma lays with my kindergarten group. I find myself with a troop full of parents that want to help for a meeting or two but no long term help except my co-leader. My dilemma comes in that I had to make a decision for my troop, I tried to contact my co-leader. I somehow ended up getting yelled at by my co-leader and other parents because my co-leader was upset that I made the decision without her and then she sent an email to the parents saying I was wrong. I want to do the best thing for the girls, and I know that if I back down that no other parent will step up. At the same time though, I do not have a daughter in the troop, I have no real investment in the troop, and I am tired of being yelled at when all I was doing was trying to keep the girls' best interest at heart. I am still deciding exactly what I am going to do about the situation, I am still hopeful that as my co-leader and I are both adults that we can work this out.
My other dilemma deals more with our apartment and our plans for the future. Nathan and I have been talking a lot about the future lately, both near and distant. When to have a wedding ceremony? How many years to wait to start a family? Should I go back to school even though I don't have a job? And so on... This week our furniture and the rest of our stuff came, and I know that I should have been excited to unpack. However, we have been talking about the possibility of investing our money and buying a house here, and then when we leave renting it out. And although I know this is going to take a while to find a house, get financing, etc. I have been reluctant to even touch a single box this week. At the same time though I do not want to move again and just want to get settled in. I know this may seem like a stupid dilemma, but it has really bothered me this week. I have even made a list of pros and cons trying to figure out the best thing to do for us. Even though I can come up with a hundred reasons to stay here in this apartment, I can't help but feel that if we stay here that we are giving up so many dreams. But then I think that we can just put those dreams off for a while, and then be closer to Nathan's work and not have to move again. When I start thinking about that I just keep going back to when I wrote about the best marriage advice I had received, in that a marriage is all about compromises. I want to make Nathan happy, but at the same time in 20 years I do not want to look back and say that I gave up or put off a lot of my dreams.
Nathan has been gone the past couple of weeks and won't be back until November some time. I miss being able to talk to him, I think it might be able to process everything if I could talk to him in person. Also, I miss being able to call the states and discuss these issues with my family and get there feedback. Nathan has the phone with international plan, so those calls will have to wait as well. I just pray that I am able to make the right decision in regards to Girl Scouts and that Nathan and I make the right decisions in regards to our future.
For the easier question: It sounds like your co-leader is not going to act like an adult and if the other parents went off on you too they may not be much better. Parents of younger children are often like that. Perhaps you and the co-leader should switch roles so they can on point and you can be there to assist. The key parents often forget is that it is supposed to be for the kids. As long as you can still do well for them then I would say stick with it but remember you have no vested interest so if it isn't fun most of the time then it isn't worth it.
ReplyDeleteUnpacking question: There are a lot of layers to this question. Perhaps you should unpack some of the key boxes and see if that will make the apartment feel more like home and see how you feel. The danger with buying a home is the closing costs of the home and if you move relatively soon will you will lose that investment. If you do not go with buying a home there are a lot of other areas to put your money. 401k and Roth IRA. OR International investments mutual funds that are good opportunities as well as the more stable lower returning US/Europe investments and Bond areas. It is tough being alone and even more so in a new place. Those are definite downsides BUT I would say enjoy the many opportunities you have as a young couple. There is plenty of time to own a home, start a family, etc. but know that once you do your flexibility and options decrease. Lastly, I wouldn't say that marriage is ALL about compromise. I think a couple needs to approach issues as a team and sometimes one may need to compromise sometimes but it should not be all the time and it shouldn't be the big dreams that are compromised.